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Lightning Fill In The Blank

Mar 17, 2018
Originally published on March 17, 2018 10:17 am
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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Tom and Helen each have three. Mo has two.

SAGAL: That's an unusual position for Mo. All right. So Mo is in third place. That means you go first, Mo. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. In retaliation for the poisoning of an ex-spy, the U.K. expelled 23 diplomats from blank on Tuesday.

MO ROCCA: Russia.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, several White House officials expressed alarm over blank's interview on "60 Minutes" last Sunday?

ROCCA: Betsy DeVos.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, President Trump tapped CNBC commentator blank to replace Gary Cohn as White House economic adviser.

ROCCA: Larry Kudlow.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, police said there were three separate package bombs sent to homes in blank that were likely created by the same person.

ROCCA: Austin.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a California state senator nicknamed Huggy Bear was reprimanded by a committee for blanking.

ROCCA: For hugging a bear - for hugging people.

SAGAL: For hugging too many people - yeah. Stop it, Huggy Bear.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, retailer blank announced plans to liquidate almost all of its U.S. stores.

ROCCA: Toys-R-Us.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a NASA study confirmed that astronaut Scott Kelly's blank was no longer identical to his twin brothers.

ROCCA: DNA.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Last weekend, a group of blanks were thanked...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...For helping to stop a carjacking in Indianapolis.

ROCCA: Ducks.

SAGAL: No, a group of potholes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: According to police, these carjackers committed their crime at an ATM drive thru. They attempted to escape in the stolen car through an alleyway. Unbeknownst to them, the alley was filled with potholes, one of which caused both the tires to blow out. The carjackers lost control, crashed into a fence and fled on foot. Police say they're still hunting for the suspects. But given their luck, they'll be found under a piano on the sidewalk...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Dropped by movers. Bill, how did Mo do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Seven right is very good...

SAGAL: That was very good.

(APPLAUSE)

KURTIS: ...With 14 more. That gives him a total of 16. And boy, he's the guy to beat.

SAGAL: All right. Well, we flipped a coin. Tom has elected to go last. So, Helen, you are up next. Fill in the blank. This week, House Republicans said they found no evidence of collusion between blank and Russia.

HELEN HONG: Trump's campaign.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, famed scientist blank passed away at the age of 76.

HONG: Stephen Hawking.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, Philippines President blank said he plans to withdraw his country from the International Criminal Court.

HONG: Duterte.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a man in Romania tried and failed to have his blank annulled.

HONG: Marriage?

SAGAL: No, his death certificate.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Monday, adult film star blank launched a crowdfunding campaign to cover legal fees in her battle with President Trump.

HONG: Stormy Daniels.

SAGAL: Stormy Daniels.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a Hartford man faced charges...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...For stealing a car drove to the court in a blank.

HONG: In a stolen car.

SAGAL: In - exactly - another stolen car.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Because that's how they roll in Hartford in stolen cars.

HONG: You guys are badasses.

SAGAL: They don't take, no, stop, you're committing another crime for an answer. Note to future criminals, judges rarely go for the defense. But I'm getting really good at it. This guy was due in court for stealing a car. He had to get there somehow. He didn't have a car, so he stole one. Police charged him with another car. So now he has another court date. Police charged him with another crime. Now he has another court date. But he said, hey, no problem. I know just how I'll get there.

Bill, how did Helen do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Five right - 10 more points - total of 13 - but Mo still leads.

SAGAL: There you are.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: So how many then does Tom need to win?

KURTIS: Seven.

SAGAL: All right. Here we go, Tom. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. This week, the Trump administration announced new sanctions against blank.

TOM BODETT: Russia.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, Trump visited California to review prototypes for his blank.

BODETT: Wall.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, SpaceX founder blank said his Mars spaceship would be ready for short trips to outer space sometime next year.

BODETT: Elon Musk.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man in China who adopted a puppy was surprised when his pet grew up to be a blank.

BODETT: Oh, it grew up to be a snow panther.

SAGAL: No. It grew up to be a black bear.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yeah. Fly that United.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Thursday, a new study named Finland the world's blankest country.

BODETT: Happiest.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the FDA moved to lower the blank content in cigarettes.

BODETT: Nicotine.

SAGAL: Right on.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Sunday, IKEA's test kitchen introduced a new hamburger made from blank.

BODETT: All those little leftover parts.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That might be better. The answer is mealworms.

BODETT: It even sounds good.

SAGAL: According to the chefs at IKEA, the burger's made from equal parts beetroot, parsnip, potato and ground mealworm. We know what you're thinking. Gross - who'd ever eat a hamburger made with beetroot?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Don't worry, though. The chefs say these test kitchen food will not make their way to the cafes anytime soon. So you can eat your meatballs confident that all they contain is pure 100 percent horse meat. Bill, did Tom do well enough to take it away from Mo?

KURTIS: Not quite - he got 13. But Mo's the winner with 16.

SAGAL: Congratulations.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.