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Lightning Fill In The Blank

Mar 24, 2018
Originally published on March 24, 2018 11:54 am
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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now it's onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the score?

BILL KURTIS: I can. Adam and Amy each have three. Rashawn has one.

AMY DICKINSON: Come on.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right, Rashawn. You're in last place. You're up first. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, a judge ruled that President Trump must face a defamation lawsuit filed by a former contestant on blank.

RASHAWN SCOTT: "The Apprentice?"

SAGAL: Yes, "The Apprentice."

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Amid corruption charges, Pedro Pablo Kuczynski resigned as the president of blank.

SCOTT: Portugal.

SAGAL: Peru. Following a crash on Monday, ride-sharing service blank suspended their autonomous vehicle testing.

SCOTT: Lyft.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SCOTT: Uber. I deleted Uber.

KURTIS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: After a group in Kansas reported seeing someone carrying a U.S. flag with ISIS symbols, the FBI investigated and found blank.

SCOTT: Oh, god.

(LAUGHTER)

SCOTT: An AK-47.

SAGAL: No. It was actually the Malaysian flag.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This Thursday marked the Curiosity Rover's 2,000th day on blank.

SCOTT: Earth.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: I'm letting LeVar down.

SAGAL: It wasn't that. You had a 1-in-9 chance.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It was Mars. On Wednesday, it was announced that the ashes of scientist blank would be interred next to the graves of Isaac Newton and Charles Darwin in Westminster.

SCOTT: Stephen Hawking.

SAGAL: Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: This week, a group of European tourists in Peru were disciplined...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...After they were caught blanking.

SCOTT: Thank God.

(LAUGHTER)

SCOTT: They were caught smoking.

SAGAL: No. They were caught mooning the ancient ruins of Machu Picchu.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The three tourists who were caught exposing their butts to the Incan landmark were immediately kicked out. And they're not alone. This is true. People getting naked there is really common. Tickets to Machu Picchu now explicitly instruct visitors to leave both their machus and picchus in their pantsuits.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I would say that was an emotional roller coaster, Rashawn.

SCOTT: It truly was. I want to thank everybody who watched me struggle here.

(LAUGHTER)

ADAM BURKE: If you feel bad, take consolation in the fact that Peter is going to get a thousand emails about the fact that he said you had a 1-in-9 chance of getting the right planet. Everyone knows it's now 1-in-8, Peter.

SAGAL: Bill, how did Rashawn do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Rashawn got two right.

(APPLAUSE)

KURTIS: Four more points - and since she was the only one playing so far, she's leading.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right. We flipped a coin. And Amy has elected to go next. So, Amy, fill in the blank. This week, President Trump called for using the death penalty against some blanks.

DICKINSON: Drug pushers.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After Trump announced $60 billion dollars in new tariffs on Thursday, blank said they would retaliate.

DICKINSON: This is China?

SAGAL: It was China.

DICKINSON: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week Republican Rick Saccone conceded defeat, finally, in the special congressional election last week in blank.

DICKINSON: Pennsylvania.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: And on Wednesday, the Federal Reserve raised blanks by a quarter of a point.

DICKINSON: Interest rates.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Forty minutes after announcing that he'd discovered a strange new planet, a scientist in Cape Town announced blank.

DICKINSON: It was a smudge on the lens.

SAGAL: No. He said, my bad, I was looking at Mars.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Scientists revealed that a tiny skeleton found in Chile was human and not blank.

DICKINSON: A mummy.

SAGAL: An alien. This week, AIDS researcher Robert Redfield was selected as the new director of the blank.

DICKINSON: NIH.

SAGAL: CDC.

DICKINSON: CDC.

SAGAL: Sorry. This week, a Minnesota teen failed her driving exam when she blanked.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

DICKINSON: She ran her car through the examination room.

SAGAL: That's exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: She plowed right into the building.

(APPLAUSE)

DICKINSON: Yeah.

SAGAL: She didn't even - she's 17. She didn't even make it out of the parking lot. She put it into drive instead of reverse, crashed right into the driver's ed building. Everybody in the car was fine. And the teen's instructor says she'll have to work a little bit harder on parallel parking. But she passed the surprise parking section with flying colors.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Amy do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Five right and ten more points. So Amy has a total of 13 and taking the lead.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right.

SCOTT: Good job.

SAGAL: How many, then - we're starting at the same place - how many, then, does Adam need to win?

KURTIS: Five to tie, six to win.

SAGAL: Yeah.

BURKE: Watch and learn. This is how you screw this game up.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, Adam. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, police reported that the person behind the bombings in blank left behind a...

BURKE: Austin.

SAGAL: ...Video confession. Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, John Dowd, the lead attorney for blank in the special counsel inquiry, resigned.

BURKE: Donald Trump.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, judges in France put former President blank under investigation...

BURKE: Sarkozy.

SAGAL: ...Over an alleged bribery scandal. Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Thousands of people in Florida went without Internet access for hours when a man blanked.

BURKE: I don't know. He pulled the plug on the Internet.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He stole the utilities repair truck to drive to a Denny's.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Thursday, Charles Lazarus, the founder of toy store chain blank passed away at the age of 94.

BURKE: Toys R Us.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the city of Malibu voted to ban straws and cutlery made of blank.

BURKE: Plastic.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Authorities in New York suspected a woman of being intoxicated when she pulled up to the security booth outside of prison and blanked.

BURKE: Asked if there was a cover charge.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No. She attempted to order a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: Stop.

SAGAL: Deputy told her, no, this is the county jail. It's not a fast food restaurant. The woman insisted that he give her the sandwich. That's when they called the cops. The woman is now facing DUI charges. But the whole thing could have been avoided if she had shown up a half hour earlier because everyone knows the prison security booth stops serving breakfast at 10:30.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Adam Burke do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Well, yes and no.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: Just like Amy, he had a total of 13. So we have a tie.

SAGAL: Congratulations.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.